Letting Go
by CrazyBowtieGirl
Summary: Dedicated to those, who like me, can't believe that TID is over. Will cant sleep. Neither can Tessa. Set in Clockwork Prince, a couple nights after Jem and Tessa went at it in Jem's room. A scene that could work if CP didn't exist. Let's pretend it doesn't :). For Wessa shippers I wont disappoint. To be a Continuing Story...
1. I Can't Sleep

Chapter 1.

Tessa couldn't sleep, not when all she dreamt about was Jem's hands all over her. You would expect that she'd like her dreams, of course shed expect that too, if it weren't for Will. Charming, Breathtaking, Confusing, and arrogant Will. She could never forget what he'd told her that day on the roof. But it seemed that it became harder and harder to hate him with what had been going on recently. He was different somehow. But she couldn't think about him like that after she'd done the things she had with Jem. But somehow Will was always in the back of her mind. The reason why she couldn't sleep, because it didn't matter that there were Jem's hands all over her, she found herself saying Wills name. Her heart was torn, she used to think that Will was here one and only, but that was before Jem came into the picture. She sat up in her bed in frustration. No good sleeping now, she thought to herself, as she made her way to the balcony, some fresh air might be the cure.

Will Herondale lay awake in his bed, staring at the ceiling as he tried not to think about Tessa Gray. She was beautiful and had loved him, Before he had so brutally pushed her away and caused her so much pain that it hurt him to see her like that. But as he pushed her away, she pulled closer to Jem, his parabatai, and he knew that their friendship wouldn't last, and that it would turn into something more. He knew that it already had turned into something more, it didn't take a genius to figure out why Jem and Tessa were suddenly so awkward around each other. Who knew that Tessa even had it in her? He'd always dreamed that he'd be her first, that she'd scream his name in her beautiful voice. But now that Jem was involved it became a whole lot more complicated. Will tried to fight the images of Tessa as they bounced around in his head, tried to forget the way her hair smelt so good and how perfectly her lips molded onto his. He tried to forget her, but little good did that do, he decided he needed some fresh air. Up the stairs, he quietly made his way up to the balcony, but is seemed that he wasn't the only one who couldn't sleep that night.

I know it's short but they WILL get longer, I promise!

review! :)


	2. Can't do this anymore

Chapter 2...

"Tessa?" Will whispered, as he stopped short of the French doors. She whipped her head around as she turned to see Will gazing at her with his stunning blue eyes. She immediately felt herself flush as his eyes took her in. She wished she hadn't come here in nothing but a sheer black lace nightgown. "Will?" she said as she wrapped her arms around herself, shivering as a gust of wind whizzed by.

"By the Angel, you must be freezing. Here take this." Will said, snapping out of his reverie, and walking towards her in quick long strides, handing her his coat.

She mumbled a quick thanks and wrapped Wills coat around her, trying not to moan at its heavenly scent. She could still feel his warmth, still feel his fingers in her hair hold- No, she had to stop thinking like this. This was Will she was talking about. The same Will who broke her heart.

" so I'm taking you couldn't sleep?" Will said after a while. He was standing right next to her, their elbows almost touching as he looked out into the starry night. She drank him in, his beautiful blue eyes framed by the thickest of lashes, the way his dark messy hair slightly curled near his ear, the way his face was so perfectly angled, the marks that were bold against his pale skin running along his collar bone and disappearing under his crumpled shirt.

"Yes, and I'm taking you too couldn't find any reason to go back to bed?" Tessa replied after a moments consideration.

"Guilty as charged" Will joked and she couldn't help but giggle a bit at his humor. While Jem could calm her, she knew she could always count on Will to make her laugh.

They stood there, elbows almost touching, staring out into the night sky, before Will broke the silence, his voice stoic.

"Tessa, we have to talk." he said as he still looked out into the dark night.

"What? I'm afraid I don-" Tessa began, her face trying not to falter. She didn't want to relive the roof episode all over again. It had hurt her enough.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about." Will said fiercely and in a blink of a eye, he was pinning her against the balcony. She felt like her entire body was on fire and yet she was frozen in place. His face was millimeters away from hers and there was a softness and fierceness in his eyes That she had only seen once before in the attic when they had kissed... She thought for a moment that he would kiss her but as quick as he was there he was gone, his back to her as he ran his hands through his hair in frustration. She stood there shocked and perplexed.

"Will?" she asked her voice quiet and concerned. He really hadnt been looking so well today. He might have broken her heart, but Tessa couldn't help but care for him. Will was so strong and full of secrets, there were few times like this when she saw him vulnerable. Like he really was made out of glass.

Will ran his hands through his hair in frustration and glared out at the dark. He wished he could tell Tessa everything, but not until he found a answer. The time would come, he hoped, when he wouldn't have to push her away. He wished she knew what kind of effect she had on him. She was probably the only girl in the world that made him feel like he belonged, that he wasn't different, that it wasn't his fault. If only she knew, he thought in frustration.

"Will?" She asked again, in her beautiful voice, and he could tell she was right behind him. She put a hand on his back and he almost lost it right then and there. He could feel the desire by her simple touch clouding his mind. Oh how he needed her.

"Are you okay?" She asked again, her voice filled with concern and he just couldn't take it anymore. Damn this curse. Tonight he couldn't hold it back anymore, tonight he was letting go.

* * *

Hi it's Margo! Drop me a review and tell me what you think? I KNOW this was a story on the TomlinsonQueen's account, which was my last account that I forgot the password for AND my email got hacked so I'm starting fresh :) This is the same story except I WILL continue it!


	3. Tessa I'm Sorry

**Chapter 3: "Tessa I'm Sorry." Part 1 of WESSA FULFILLMENT! ;)**

Within seconds he had her pinned against the balcony's edge, his face mere centimeters away from hers. She was flustered, her pretty face tinged a slight red, making him want her even more. He couldnt stop himself from raising his hand and gently caressing her face as if this was last time he'd ever get the chance to do so.

Tessa involuntarily shivered under his touch and it took all her might not to pull him close and kiss him right them. She shouldn't be doing...this with Will when Jem was courting her, when she had already done all of this before with Jem. She knew she shouldn't, but she couldn't stop this, she couldn't make herself look away from Wills beautiful eyes, for once full on display with his affection for her. His desire, his love, his longing, so warm and so tender that it broke her heart more than it had done on the roof. She had to know of this was real, because with all that was going on with Jem and everything she just couldn't handle another one of Wills games right now.

"Will" she managed to whisper out as she stared into those loving eyes she had always fantasized about.

"My Tess" he whispered back his breath tickling her neck as he leaned in closer. He was so close, he could feel the heat radiating off of him, and warming her to her very core, making her ache for his touch. But the incident on the roof had broken her beyond repairing and she was smart enough to make sure this time. If this was even real.

"Will, I..I...I need to know," Tessa began, trying to put her thoughts into sentences, "if you really...mean this." she finished, unable to stop her voice from cracking in the end. She bit back on her lip to stop the tears that threatened to spill. She wanted him, but she had to know if this was just a another cruel joke or if this was something more.

Will barely heard her whisper but it was enough to make him tense up. He felt like he'd been punched in the gut. He could feel Tessa biting back on her lip to stop her from crying and he hated himself more than anything that night. He couldn't believe how much he'd broken this girl, and yet she still was hopeful that it wasn't the true him that night on the roof instead some demon in her wills place. If he even was his. No amount of words could explain how sorry he was or how much he loved her, so he did the second best thing.

She braced herself for Will to push her away and tell her that he just had too much to drink or it was just all a mistake. She tried not to think about it but he was Will, perfect, gorgeous, cocky, Will. A boy that was so beautiful that there was no way he could love her, boring, plain, old Tessa. Just when she felt tears threatening to spill, she felt Wills hot mouth against hers, and his strong arms enveloping her in an earth shattering embrace. She was a bit stunned at first but there was nothing in the world right then that could have mattered or stopped her from wrapping her arms around Wills neck and pulling him closer. She felt him moan into her mouth as she pushed herself against him, her body perfectly molding into his, only the sheer cloth of her night dress separating her from completely dissolving into Will's lean frame.

Will gently nibbled the bottom of her lip, asking for entrance, earning a groan out of Tessa, as his tongue left no area of her mouth untouched. He couldn't believe he was actually doing this, kissing the girl of his dreams and she was kissing him back. He knew that she loved him, this guess proved that much, but he still had to hear it from her own mouth.

Tessa moaned as Will tore his lips away from hers, both of them gasping for air. She felt his forehead against hers, as she found herself looking into those beautiful blue eyes of his, now almost a dark midnight blue. She imagined how she looked from those eyes, her cheeks flushed and her gray eyes dark with desire. She felt herself flush more just at the thought of her looking like that. Thank god for the dark night.

She was just about to reel him back for another kiss, when Will stopped her by saying, "Tess, we need to talk."

She felt her heart drop and even though all she wanted to do right then was feel Wills magical hands all over her body, she knew that they had to talk. And even if she did kiss him right then, she was simply delaying the inevitable. So when she looked at Will with a look that told him to go on, he did.

"Tessa, Tess, I'm so sorry. You have to believe me, I just want to kill myself for how I've been hurting you, always acting like I don't care, when really it's stabbing me inside. " he began, his voice trembling with anger and pain, and Tessa was shocked.

"so you didn't really mean what you said...that night on the roof?" she questioned her own voice sounding distant. She felt all those broken pieces mend back together if that's what he really meant. It seemed too good to be true. But then again, this was Will she was talking about.

"Yes, Tess. I never meant anything that day when I broke your heart. I couldn't even bring myself to do it, but then i remembered...the consequences and i...," he said his voice soft when he continued again," I could never let anything happen to you Tess." he paused and almost like he knew that she was going to ask why, "All in good time Tess, I'll tell you when the time comes, trust me, but right now...God, I shouldn't be even doing this not only because of me but you and Jem..." he finished his voice trailing off at the end and Tessa felt herself turn cold as the events of that night flashed into her head.

"You saw? Me and Jem..." she whispered, as she felt herself take an involuntary gulp. She felt her cheeks heat up and her face turned to the floor. Great, no wonder Will didn't want her. She was so dirty. She felt a tear slip down her flushed cheeks.

"Tess, please don't cry, look at me. I dont care what you did with Jem or what you do with any other man for that matter, I will never judge you like that. I, of all people, cannot judge you like that. " he said soothingly as he took her face into his hands and gave her a soft kiss. "and yes, I saw you and Jem in his room, going at it, until you knocked over his supply of yin yen and how you left your pretty face flushed and embarrassed yet even more beautiful. " he finished with a whisper, a small smile on his lips.

"And you don't care that I almost slept with you parabatai?" Tessa asked, trying to get a grasp on this loving and different Will.

"I don't. Jem is my greatest sin and im glad it's him rather than some random stranger." Will said and Tessa couldn't help but smile.

**IF you read it, I already love you. But I'll love you even more if you review :) **

**-Margo**


	4. Can't hold back and I'm not going to

_**Chapter 4... "Tessa, I can't hold this back anymore." "I know Will, I can't either."**_

Will couldn't help but feel like the luckiest man alive when he saw that small smile light up his Tess's beautiful face. He gently caressed her cheek and Tessa looked up at him with those beautiful gray eyes of hers, filled with her love for him. He wanted to kiss her right then and there but the consequences could be deadly, because he knew that once he started there was no going back. There was no way he could stop himself. Any other night he would have pushed her away, always caring so much about that damned curse than the way he had hurt her. But tonight, tonight was different. It was just him and Tessa, screw the rest of the world. She seemed to see that in him, that all he wanted was her, that there was nothing that mattered more. But he knew that he had to tell her that he had to hear himself say it. He still couldn't believe this was happening. But he also wanted to make sure that he wasn't forcing her into something. He could never do that to his Tess.

"Tessa, I shouldn't be doing this but Tess, I can't explain right now but it's not right and I want you to know that...that you don't have to do this." he finished, his voice rough and cracking at the end. He even took a step back from Tessa, giving her space to move. His face turned to the floor and he almost turned away, if it wasnt for Tessas small hands turning him to face her. His eyes looked her way and what he saw was the same way he always imagined her looking at him, with love, desire, and passion. But he still had to hear her say it for herself.

Tessa looked at her angel, her Will, her first love. She was shocked at his gentleness, his caringness, when he quietly told her that she didn't have to do this. It shocked her, that Will, William Herondale of all people, was giving her choice, even though she could tell that all he wanted to do was take her right then and there. Not that she minded of course, she longed for his touch as much as he did, and the fact that he was giving her a chance to walk away made her love for this beautiful boy grow even more.

"Will, come on, look at me." she said gently as his bright blue eyes finally reached hers. They looked at her with such care that it took all her might not to kiss him right then and there.

"Tess, this isn't right. You and Jem...he's courting you,it wouldn't be fair." Will said, and she could tell he was trying to change her mind. She had no idea why, but right then it didn't matter. Nothing could hanger her mind. Nothing, not even if mortimain's entire clockwork army came at her. She loved Will, and he would be hers tonight.

"I know." Tessa said, pulling him closer.

"Tessa, please, I dont deserve you after how rude I've been to you. " he tried again, but his eyes and voice betrayed him.

"I know that too." She said as her arms wrapped around his neck, leaving his face mere centimeters away from hers, and her body completely molding into his.

"Tessa, Tess..." he tried, and then quietly said, "Tessa, I...I cant hold this back anymore." his voice was barely a whisper as he looked into those beautiful gray eyes of his Tessa.

He looked at her with such passion that it melted her heart and she knew that right then at that moment, she couldn't deny the fact either. "I know Will, I can't either." she whispered before capturing his lips in another heated kiss. His hands wrapped around her small waist, and her fingers entangled themselves in his unkept black hair. Wills hands were all over her body, his mouth was all over her mouth, and Tessa Gray had never felt so alive. Their lips fought for dominance, leaving them panting for air, and longing for desire.

The stone of the balcony rail was digging into Tessa's back but she didn't care. Having a sore back was the least of her problems. It seemed that every where he touched, she burned and ached for his touch. Just wanting more and more, she couldn't get enough. His lips now left her mouth as they peppered her neck and jaw with sexy kisses. Will grazed his teeth gently, teasing her and making her feel such pleasure like never before. Oh how she needed him more. "Will!" Tessa gasped as she felt a sharp bite on neck. She knew he was leaving marks, but right then she didn't care whether he left marks or not, she just didn't want him to stop.

Will felt himself grin when Tessa let out that blissful gasp, pulling him closer and closer. But he felt like teasing her, as he gently grazed his teeth around the sensitive skin of her collar bone. He heard her moan again as he did so. God, he couldn't wait to hear her screaming his name.

Tessa was burning, even more than before. Oh the things that Will was doing to her body just didnt seem enough. She wanted him more than ever and part of her knew that he knew that too but was just having too much fun teasing her. She impatiently clawed at his shirt, attempting to get it off when Will, quick as a flash did that for her, discarding the rumpled up piece of cloth like it was trash.

She gasped at how muscled he was, his arms and torso outlined by dark runes. She wanted to trace every single one of them, and that's exactly what she did. She felt Will groan as her hands traced his scars and runes. She'd never seen so much of a boy before and she had to say she liked it very much. This was different than that time with Jem, it was like she had done it just because she was...starved of someone's touch. She had wanted Will so long that Jem had just come into play for a substitute. She felt guilty just thinking about it, but all that guilt dissolved when Will bit down on her neck again, making her moan even louder. That's it, she needed him. There was a fire starting in the pit of her stomach that she couldn't stop and it was eating her up. She needed Will.

"Will...you...me...b-bed...NOW" she managed between gasps and moans. God forbid what Will was doing with those magical hands of his but it felt so good, forget what Aunt Harriet would say if she saw him.

"What was that Tess?" asked Will teasingly, as he lifted Tessa up so that she was straddling him. He looked at her gray eyes filled with desire and longing. Her cheeks were flushed and her brown hair was messy from when he had burrowed his face in it trying to get as much as Tessas scent as he could. Her nightgown was sticking to her with sweat oh so sexily, that he had to agree he couldn't tease her much longer.

"I said-" she began but couldn't help but gasp when Will pulled her even closer. She was now sitting on the balcony rail, straddling Will and holding on to him like there was no point of letting go. His eyes were so dark and filled with passion, they were like midnight. His hair was mussed up from her hands and his chest was bare. It was obvious he wanted her-no NEEDED her as much as she did.

"Will, I want you." Tessa whispered, looking at him with her eyes filled with love. He felt his need for her grow even more.

"Tess, I want you too, but you have to know once we start, I can't stop. I just can't." He said, his tone almost serious, if it wasn't for the love and desire in his voice.

"I know Will, because i don't think I can stop either. I don't want you Will. I...need you." she whispered softly, her warm breath tickling his ear.

"Brilliant. So my room it is?" he asked, a smile on his face when she looked at him with confusion and said,"You have a room?"

"Yes Tessa dear, I have a room. And more importantly I have a bed. " he said, the inneudo clear in his voice when he picked her up off the edge and fastened his mouth to hers once again.

He led her through the dark Institute, down hallways and stairs, she had no idea where they were going, like she cared anyway, as long as she was with Will, she knew she was safe. His lips never once left hers as he navigated his way to his room, and within minutes, Will was fumbling through the door, finally getting it open and pushing through, with a giggling Tessa. She leapt from his arms and looked around at Wills room.

It looked like any other teenage boys room, messy and mostly unkept but the one thing that striked it different were the and books and books, everywhere, stuffed in his dresser, piled against the walls, stuffed between the mattress. Tessa gaped in awe, as she heard Will cursing as he struggled to close his door. A pile of books were blocking him from closing it. He finally did, letting out a sigh of relief.

"Like what you see, Tess?" Will said as his arms, wrapped around her waist, his lips gently giving her a chaste kiss on her cheek.

"Will, you never told me that you -is that a Tale of Two Cities?" she asked shocked. He had told her he hated that book. She turned around and looked at him, her hands on her hips.

"Fine, Tess, you caught me,I guess there was more to the book than I first saw. You were right." he said grumbling in a way that made Tessa laugh out loud. He looked so adorable when he was like that.

"See Will, I TOLD you so!" she said in an extremely childish manner and they both fell on his bed laughing.

He turned and so now that they both faced each other. She was so beautiful, he still couldn't believe that she was right here, with him in his bed, looking at him with a smile that could light up the entire world. He pulled her close so now that their foreheads were almost touching.

"Theresa Gray, I have loved you since the moment I saw you and I will love you as long as I live, and If there's life after that I'll love you then. Tessa Gray, you are mine." Will said softly and he felt Tessa's hand caress his face.

"I know William Herondale, I love you too." she said and their lips met in a gentle kiss. This kiss was so much more, it was unlike the other heated kisses which were all just desire and longing. This kiss was different, it was like they were treasuring every second, each filled with their pure and undying love for each other, not just lust.

Their sweet kiss lasted for some time, but sooner or later, Tessa felt that same heated sensation run through her body, making her burn and ache for his touch. She pulled a shirtless Will on top of her as their kiss deepened and the animals in them came out.

"Will, just..just take it off!" Tessa said impatiently as Wills hand trailed the edge of her night gown. With one swift motion the frail piece of cloth was off, and Tessa was on full display for Will. She felt herself flush and tried to cover herself up, but Will only pinned her hands above her head. "Tessa, you're beautiful and dont you forget it." he said fiercely as his lips captured hers once again.

Sooner or later, Tessa's nimble hands managed to get Wills pants off and Will loomed over her looking like her own dark angel, not a piece of cloth on either one of their bodies.

"Tess, I love you." Will said quietly, then she felt a stab of pain and couldn't help but gasp out loud.

"I'm sorry Tess, itll be over soon i promise." he whispered soothingly and she opened he eyes to see his caring eyes looking at her with his pure and undenying love for her. She felt better already.

They started out slow, but it was just a matter of time before Tessas hips rocked Wills and they found themselves in an entwined rhythm.

"Oh Will, DON'T STOP!" Tessa moaned, the pain had subsided and was a gateway to pleasure she had never imagined she could ever feel. It was like heaven, except better since Will was there with her.

"I feel within me a peace above all earthly dignities, a still and-" Will said between gasps. His face was beaded with sweat as he moved at an unearthly fast place.

"-Quiet consience" Tessa finished, her cheeks flushed, her lips swollen from kissing, asking Will, "Will, why on earth are you quoting Shakespeare when you're making love t-OH WILL IM GONNA..." she yelled and Wills pace began to quicken as well. She screamed his name, and he swore that he had never heard anything more beautiful, as the pleasure shot through her, leaving her limp and tired.

He came seconds later, his voice screaming "TESS!", then landing right beside her, tired as well. He looked at the beautiful goddess next to him and couldn't believe what he had done. She looked at him with her gray eyes, which had a strange new brightness to them, as she pulled him closer.

"I know myself better. But, this I know, too: I would embrace any sacrifice for you and for those dear to you. Will you hold me in your mind as being ardent and sincere in this one thing? Think now and then that there is a man who would give his life to keep a life you love beside you? " Will said quietly, and Tessa felt her heart swell. He truly was her Sydney Carton from the Tale of Two Cities.

"Thank you, Sydney. God grant that it may never be necessary. " she finished, their lips almost touching.

"I love you Tessa Gray." Will said as he pulled her close, so that she lay on his chest.

"I love you too William Herondale." she whispered as she snuggled into Wills protective arms and closed her eyes, smiling, feeling like herself at last.

**I WILL TRY TO UPDATE ASAP, but times are rough and it's hard to balance Wattpad AND fanfiction! Oh for those who want to check out my wattpad stories here's my link: user/Coffeeandotherthings**

**It's One Direction but still a continuing story :D**

**I appreciate ALL REVIEWS! Seriously I might give you a cupcake... even though I hate cupcakes...ANYWHO I love to hear what you guys are up to or whats going on. Drop me a review or PM me :D**

**Love you all,**

**Your Crazy Bowtie Girl/ Bookworm Margo**


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